Knowing When It's The Right Time for that Next Chapter... turning the page

The word escape can be either a noun (i.e., a thing or place) or it can be a verb, which implies taking an action (e.g., running away from or toward something). The following is an excerpt from Robert Miller & Monika Lowry's newest book... THE NEXT CHAPTER - CHANGE THE MINDSET, CHANGE YOUR LIFE - and highlights how one couple's health challenge became the catalyst for an exciting lifestyle change. By seeing their situation as a glass half-full versus half-empty, this uplifting story has inspired many to rethink what's possible.

Ryan and Deanna had been together for seventeen years and were working hard to get their respective children off to college or into a trade that would enable them to become self-sufficient entrepreneurs if they chose. Ryan was working for Ford, on the assembly line, and while the pay was good, he was wearing out.
The continual stress of ensuring a glitch at Ryan’s station did not hold up the line and twenty-four years of shift work had taken their toll. And though he was rotated through several different assembly stations per shift, the repetitive stress was wearing out his back and shoulders. For over ten years, he had worked out daily with heavy weights, stretching, and isometrics to keep his strength and agility at its best, but the grind was exhausting.

Deanna was a massage therapist, and she, too, was feeling the effects of two decades of pressing and kneading in her wrists, elbows, shoulders, and back. Recently, she had slipped on the ice in their driveway while running to her car. Before she knew it, she was on the ground and felt the screaming pain in her knee.

As it was not a workplace injury, she was on her own, and with no insurance for such things, time off work was not an option. And, now nine months later, the prognosis was not good either. Surgery was inevitable as the knee had already been showing the effects of several teenage skiing falls, and while a replacement knee was in her future, she was too young to consider it yet. The good news was they both had good jobs. Ryan kept hanging in for that pension at the end of this endurance-run called a career. Although some days, it felt more like a sentence to constant pain and stress, like so many of his peers, he willed himself every day to keep going.

But Deanna’s job was a contract, and though she’d been there for years, there were no benefits,. Like her peers, she had to be responsible for her own retirement planning. Between raising three children and now helping them with college while still housing and feeding them with their adult appetites, she didn’t have anything left to pay ahead for herself.

Valentine’s Day was coming up, which was special for them, as their first real date after meeting online had been a Valentine’s Day dinner. Ryan’s gentle side showed with the three red roses, a beautiful card, and a champagne toast to “what may be.” This had given Deanna hope that maybe it would be different this time.
And it had been…not perfect, as there was always “stuff,” but from that first dinner, they both had found their best friend, confidante, and life mate. Ryan would joke that “You don’t get a second chance to marry the right person the first time,” but second time around had been delightful for them both.

As usual, Ryan had planned something special but never like this. He’d booked a weekend away in wine country at an historic winery and spa. As Valentine’s Day happened to fall on a Saturday, he’d told her nothing except that she had to leave work early and be home by 2:00 pm. She giggled to herself in anticipation as she powered through her lunch while ensuring each client got her special level of care and attention.

At 1:58, she’d rolled into the driveway to find Ryan standing beside his car, waiting. She dashed in for a quick shower and found her clothes laid out on the bed, with some new lingerie and all. The anticipation was almost like nothing she’d ever experienced, and she had no idea why. As the car rolled out of the driveway, headed out to the freeway and south, she couldn’t help but wonder what the surprise was, but she was determined to enjoy it.

Ninety minutes later, she asked where they were going, but he just smiled and kept chatting. As they entered the small village where the winery, restaurant, inn, and spa were located, she looked at him and thought this was a long way to go for a special dinner. But when they got out and he popped the trunk to take out her suitcase, she squealed in delight like a little girl who had gotten the Christmas present she’d dreamed of but never expected. The combination of Ryan’s thoughtfulness, the preparedness, the romantic setting, and his unique way of making little things special had reached a new high.

Their inn was quaint but their room, complete with fireplace, was gorgeously appointed with a soaker tub for two. But that would have to wait, he said, as he whisked her off to her next surprise. As they crossed the lobby, went through a side door, and dashed across the street to an old stone building, she didn’t have time to see the sign. But inside, she realized he’d brought her to one of the most luxurious spas in the region. Over the next thirty-six hours, she would be the recipient of every treatment they offered, including ample time between for lunch for two each day with Ryan.

At 6:45 that evening, they were back in their room, and once again she found her clothes laid out on the bed, so all she needed to do was get dressed. Her special treatment earlier had been a facial and makeup
session. Again, giggling to herself, she almost felt like royalty. Dinner was lovely, but it wouldn’t have mattered if it had been mac ’n’ cheese. Ryan’s treat was so fun and so special that she was revelling in each
moment. She wanted to bottle it so she could savour it a little bit in those other life moments that hit us regularly and make us want to escape.

Instead, she simply released herself to enjoy the attention, the pampering, and the ambiance surrounding the whole experience. Knowing it could never be repeated the same way, she was determined to absorb every moment of pleasure, and she did!

After their dinner, they were guided into a quiet corner in the lounge where their coffee, dessert, and iced wine were served. She kissed Ryan softly and expectantly asked him what was next. Looking at her for what seemed like a long and endearing time, he said, “We have a good life, we have a wonderful relationship, but we are killing ourselves.”

Quietly, he continued, “the occupational therapist at work has told me that my condition is not acute enough yet to warrant a disability package, but it’s doubtful I could make it to full retirement.” With tears in her eyes, Deanna looked at him for a long moment and quietly responded, “Me too.

Like you, the prognosis for me is that if I continue indefinitely, I will create so much scar tissue. Down the road, this combined with the arthritis will become extremely painful which will affect my mobility and quality of life. But given where we are and where the kids are in life, what choice do we have?”

Ryan’s answer, like everything else this weekend, was thoughtful, considered, and so special. “I don’t have an answer, but together, we are going to figure that out…starting tonight. As a matter of fact, we have a session tomorrow with a lifestyle counsellor, who’s going to be talking about just that. Wow…what’s it called? Lifestyles, Homes, and Escapes, and I’m keen to hear what he has to share. But first, we have some homework before I unveil your next treat,” he said with a sly smile.

On cue, the waiter appeared with a writing pad, pen, and more coffee.Ryan slid the pad over to her, and Deanna saw the heading: “Our Bucket List.” On the second page was the heading “Our Big Why.” For now, the rest of the pad was blank, but she knew that together they’d be able to come up with a plan tailored to them and their family.

The secret to Ryan and Deanna’s success in being ready to “open Pandora’s Box” and consider “what if ”, was that Ryan had set the stage for them both to be in a positive frame of mind and see their future as a glass half-full. By approaching it this way, Ryan and Deanna would identify the lifestyle and perhaps the ideal escape that would be part of that next chapter.

Like others who had been in this situation, this couple would figure it out... and while they were not able to pack up and leave this year, the wheels were in motion and creating their bucket list and their Big Why would be the first steps to discovering What’s next in their future.

Epilogue: With their youngest in college and the other three launched, Ryan and Deanna sold the family home and bought a small home near the lake where Ryan had a friend with a landscaping business and all the seasonal or occasional work he could handle. And with such an accomplished professional available,
the nearby resort offering a boutique service was delighted to have Deanna there
for the high-season guests.

Early each November, they packed the suitcases and headed south, but like many others, they couldn’t decide where, so every year was a new adventure. And they knew there were no mistakes—if it didn’t turn out to be what they hoped, they simply caught the next flight to their second choice,
which already had a tentative reservation in place. 

The bottom line…knowing what’s on your bucket list and your Big Why are the key to an exciting future, writing your next chapter, one adventure at a time.